Based on Dr. Robyn Silverman’s Keynote: Limits, Labels & Luggage: Shedding the Past so We Can Claim Our Future
Many of us have what I like to call, “Goal Envy.” We see others setting and achieving goals that we want to be our own. And yet, we come up with all kinds of reasons why we can’t succeed.
It’s not the right time.
I’m not that kind of person.
I would never have the _______, _________, or _________ to be able to do it.
Even before we try—no—even before we allow ourselves to think about setting such a goal–we have already come up with why we could never achieve it. So, we sit by watching, longing, and wishing that our “luck” would change.
When we think of those who do indeed succeed we know that luck (being in the right place at the right time or knowing the right people) may be just one small piece of their success. Intuitively we know that hard work, brains, skill, and a go-gettem’ attitude may have also played a part. But more than all of those things, these people know that the true secret of success is the: (1) Removal of limits; (2) Shedding of Labels; and (3) Unpacking of one’s Luggage.
Limits: These loom in front of us like a stop sign at the foot of a mountain. We convince ourselves that “that goal” and that climb is not possible for us. What we don’t often realize (as we convince ourselves of something that we believe with all consciousness) is that these limits are typically self-imposed and based on the past. Most inventions are thought to be impossible until they are invented just as many records are thought to be unbreakable until they are broken. Roger Bannister was the first man to run a 4-minute mile, something that people knew without a shadow of doubt, couldn’t be done. And yet, he did it because he believed he could. He removed the limit and then achieved the goal. That is the order of things. What limits are you buying into that keep you from claiming your most fulfilling future?
Labels: This is our own Scarlet Letter. Some are bestowed. Others are self imposed. Either way, they become part of us. We brand ourselves with an iron so hot that we often can’t see ourselves without the label we’ve assumed. Shy. Ugly. Loner. Party Girl. Stupid. Player. Slut. Yes, at times there are positive labels that push us in a positive direction but even markers like “the responsible one” and “the A student” can keep us from taking risks and admitting fault or struggle. Labels put us in a box and don’t allow us to grow. They don’t allow us to color outside the lines of our life even when the benefits are obvious. They yield to expectations and allow us (and others) to prejudge how we’ll act even before we do. What labels are keeping you from claiming what you really want?
Luggage: One thing that everyone has in common is that we all have a past. Whether you are Oprah Winfrey, Robyn Silverman, or the boy that lives on the corner of Main and Broad, everyone has a compilation of experiences that have made them who they are today. The problem is, we take all those experiences and allow them to define what we are tomorrow as well. We shy away from certain risks, people, and opportunities because of something that happened last year, 10 years ago, or when we were little kids. We were bullied so we don’t assert ourselves too loudly. We failed a math class so we don’t even try for pre-med. We even allow our baggage to sabotage the achievements that are so close they are practically ours. Think of the boy who froze on stage in 5th grade and now won’t allow himself to become Valedictorian for fear someone will ask him to speak at commencement. Or the woman who was told she was “irresponsible” and now won’t allow herself to start her own business. Luggage is powerful. What’s holding you down? What’s holding you back from setting and getting the goals you truly desire?
The thing about limits, labels, and luggage is that they are only as powerful as we allow them to be. Others may buy into them but we give them weight. What can you do today to disengage and disconnect from them? Where would you be without these restrictions? No doubt you would be living your most fulfilling life. Believe it. See it. Achieve it. Assume your rightful place in this world. It’s waiting for you.
Looking for a powerful keynote speaker for your next event? Dr. Robyn Silverman is booking now for 2011 and 2012. Read about her and connect today to book her for your next event.
Limits, Labels & Luggage: Leaving Behind What Holds Us Back is a post from: Dr. Robyn Silverman – Child Development Specialist, Body Image Expert, Success Coach & the Creator of the Powerful Words Character Development System